Updated: Jul 28, 2019

Is self-love selfish? Does self - love mean being alone? Does self-love make a person detach from the real world?

These paranoiac thoughts might dang you. But, hold on. Don't you worry about this? They say if you have questions, there lies an answer as well. It's just, you need to find them. Let's start with the definition first.

Self-love is a combination of things done by an individual to be his/her best self.

It's about happiness, well-being, care, loving yourself first than others, etc. Self-love is essential for one's growth, mental stability, maintaining a positive aura, just being an amazing person until you die. I hope the definition is sufficing enough for you to hop on to the actual actions needed to be taken.



Practical solutions to self-love:


1. Embrace your flaws: This is deep and difficult to endure. "Acceptance" will help you accomplish this solution. Accept the way you're, tall or short, fair or dark, energetic or lethargic, middle-class or upper-class, employed or unemployed, hairy or bald, skinny or fat, topper or failure. I can go on with my duo examples. Now that you grok my point of view it should be easy for you. Say it out loud, stand in front of the mirror and say this to yourself. This should your first step of accepting yourself. Think about other beings those who can't speak or have taste buds like you who can enjoy food. Human beings are the only kinds gifted enough with intelligence and taste buds.


2. Treat yourself: In simple words especially for girls out there, pamper yourself. Definition of pampering oneself may be different. And, why not these days even men relish their part of pampering in salon or spa. Treating can be gifting something(ordering online - newfangled way) to yourself, giving a food treat by visiting your favorite food joint(or ordering from Swiggy), or simply having a bar of chocolate.


3. Do what you like: Self-indulgence is so not obvious but this effort will make a difference. Engage, yourself into activities that you like to do like pursue a hobby, give me time, binge watch shows that you liked over the years(needless to mention the source from where you can binge-watch old stuff), go alone on a walk or just read a book. Make time for what you love to do.


4. Appreciate yourself more often: Yes, you deserve self-praise(adulation) to stay confident, be determined in your lows and do not get carried away. If can't self-praise at the beginning then start noticing people around you. Hear them out, start pinning it down in phone or a notepad. Write what they say, what they appreciate about you when they give compliments. Who doesn't like listening to praise? Sometimes, blowing your own trumpet is so necessary for you to value yourself more than anyone else. After getting a hang on this one, you can pat on your back, you don't need other people for any kind of recognition. Say "Kudos" to yourself, congratulate on the small things that you do it yourself. Just feel awe-inspiring in that moment.


5. Blossom the new you: Though this is going to be a challenge as not everybody would like to change. People are hesitant to change in today's time as well. Self-love has to be enhanced every single day, it needs to flourish, it'll need to spread its wings. Self-love is a habit. You have to continue with the habit until you get it right and nurture yourself.


I know it's a journey. The above solvents are to be followed one after the other. From a caterpillar to a butterfly, it's a journey of the same individual, yet there's a humongous conversion. Don't worry much about the "new you", it will take some time for you to sink in the process. Believe me "Self-love is going to take you a long way". It's going to change you from within, respect yourself more, take care of your thoughts and moves. Self-love is a productive insight into yourself. Love yourself, your body, your mind, who you're and then you'll see the world with a different linear perspective.



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The first baby step towards getting the right rhythm for the most widely spoken language.
English is a constant menace in India.

Why English is a threat?

Why English lets you put down your weapon. Get the basics cleared out first.

For some English is a funny language, and for others, it's a beautiful language.

Learn to embrace the language from within, learn to love the language, learn to accept it as your own taste.





Have you thought about what can an International language give you?

It can give you authority, it can give you the power to express, it can build you or destroy you, it can make you possible for the real world.

Speaking English well is not about not always being grammatically correct, it's not about being always right with the tense, it's not about using advanced vocabulary all the time, it's not always about fluency.

It's all about the grace, elegance, the internal love to speak the language, to deliver the right communication, to make the world understand your message, to feel the warmth while speaking.

No more hatred for this language. Remember only love can conquer the battle.

Embrace your flaws,

Be perfect with your imperfections,

Don't push yourself very hard.


What can be done practically to love the language?

Ask yourself below questions:

1. Do I agree to the above lines(paragraph)?

2. Can I love the language?

3. Can I be true to myself?.

4. Will I give more than 100% and be consistent with the practice of this language?

5. Does my inner force comprehend what the writer has written?

If the majority is yes, then go ahead with the below tips and go ahead with the choice you have just made.

No matter what the age,

No matter how rich or poor,

No matter what background you come from,

And no matter whether you can speak English fluently or no.

No one can stop you by invading your dream of speaking English fluently.


Follow below tips :

1. Find your topic of interest.

2. Either read - books, magazines, story books, textbooks, newspaper, hoardings, Whats’App messages or quotes. Choose your liking.

3. Start practicing by saying it in front of a stranger who doesn't know English that well.

4. Push yourself a little bit for the next step to start giving your introduction in front of friends or where the opportunity lies.

Like a job interview, in front of an educated guest or a friend or a colleague or maybe your cute siblings those who support you.

5. Start with fear, yes I just said that. Fear is “okay” to start with because initial anxiety is the root cause for many to just not being able to move ahead. You do it, maybe fail in this, several times but keep trying.


Try until you succeed. That one day will come your way with a blossom surprise to make you feel worth it, to make you realize you can do it, to show you and guide you further in this beautiful journey that just has began.

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In my last blog, I shared the Danes world of happiness that's "Hygge". I told you soon I'll be sharing a blog on how to be happy. So, is it possible to be happy or live a happy life? Yes, of course, it's possible. It would sound cliched, but "Nothing is impossible" as the word itself means "I'm possible". In today's blog let's focus on possibilities and what needs to be done to change your boring and sad life into a happy life.


Disclaimer*- The tips mentioned below are to be done at your risk. If it fails to give you the desired results then there must be a mistake at your end. Either in the pattern or in the identification of the problem. I can't guarantee happiness at 100%, but definitely in proportions. Perhaps, whenever you read this article and refer back, you at least need 30 mins to completely comprehend the things mentioned. Let your boggled mind go through an immense daze and decide what best suits you and which one you can apply first.





Tip 1: STAY AWAY FROM TOXIC PEOPLE


Now, don't get confused by toxins in the body. I"m talking about real people who are toxic enough to unhinge our minds. You've to identify toxic people around. Are there toxic people around us and close to us? The answer is simply "YES". Then, who are those toxic people? How do they look like?

Where do you find them? This is the easiest question of all. Actually, everywhere. They can be your colleagues, relatives, friends or just random people on calls. Toxic people are those who always crib, talk negative, who are lazy enough to do anything, their favorite past time is backbiting about others. They're the ones who interfere a lot in your life to try and find what's next (update) in your life. Their life is basically sorted as it's all about bothering others, pulling others legs, pinpointing others, always trying to put you in the spot. These people are petrifying as they're also the mood destroyers. Whatever they say or do it changes or affects your mood completely. They try to rule in the best possible mode. Toxic people are negative talkers. Before you could make a decision in your mind, they'll try to devastate the thought that has just been germinated in your mind. There are people who speak out of expression what's good for you and bad, but not always they're hoping the true feeling. Support is something that we expect when we don't know or understand what to do in life. And here they're a complete negative guided missile.

So, if you really want to identify and get rid of such people from your life then you need "Focus" and build "Positive Aura".


For reference: Read the article "Positivity / Positive thinking - What, Why and How?" on my blog.

If you can really build a positive aura around yourself then it'll be easier to identify toxic people. Toxic people can waste your time tremendously by keeping you engaged in their sugar-coated talks or random difficulties in their life. So, next time don't waste your time by giving a priority to such people or simply listening to such people. Watch out!!! Did you just confabulate with a toxic personality? Then there's no chance of being happy. To be happy stay away from toxic people.


Tip 2: STAY CLOSE TO NATURE


Materialistic things will always give you temporary happiness.   Once you know you become happy when you purchase new things, the urge to create the same happiness drives you so much, it increases constantly. Eventually, you end up emptying your pockets and get depressed about the spending's and the money wasted on unnecessary things. Instead, have you thought about the free things that nature provides us? Do you feel happy when around trees, flowers, plants, sea, lake, under the sky or under the moonlight? Do you feel happy when you're close to nature whether it's a weekend trip or vacation? Are you smiling when in the garden just wandering, gazing around, jogging in the park or just experiencing life perfectly close to nature? It could be anything and everything as per your choice.


Feel free to pick one for yourselves to be happy being close to nature.

1. Watering plants every day.

2. Plantation at home/ in your balcony. Decorating and managing it.

3. Visiting a garden or beach fortnight.

4. Going a tree trail trip or trekking in monsoon.

5. Just gazing out of the window to get the feel or vibe of nature.

Pick up one that tops your list, then practice it on a regular basis. Stay close to nature very often to live a happy life.


Tip 3: STOP COMPARING your life WITH OTHERS


Have you thought of this as a time confusing activity that you do most of the time especially when you're idle? This tip is going to be a tough nut to crack. Not everyone would even accept that they often have a habit to compare their lives with others. We actually measure happiness by comparing. Now, that the social media platforms are the biggest booth to blame for, no one can stay away from this perilous virus of comparison.

If you want to find out how terrible it can be, then let's answer a few questions below:


1. How many hours in a day do you spend on social media?

2. Do you get moved after seeing pictures of others visiting an exotic location

 on social media?

3. Do you wish to buy luxurious products or brands after seeing someone else buy the same

 on social media?

4. Do you personally or professionally build a social media handle?

5. Do you learn something on social media? (But is that(learning) only 10% of your time on social media.)

6. Do you only have a social media account because that's a

necessity and it's easier to peep into others life?

7. Do you feel depressed and you babble rubbish after you use too much of social media a particular

 day and can't stop comparing things?

8. Do you wake up and first thing first is checking out social media and finding what's cooking in others life?

9. Do you compare when it comes to clothing or lifestyle with others on social media? Also, you then try to use it as a convincing tool to deal with your parents.

10. Do you feel it's an addiction now and you want to live a life like that of a social media influencer or a person who puts all happy pictures on social media?


If the majority of the answers are "YES" then definitely you're living a "comparing competitors" life

 and continuously trying or showing temporary happiness.

What to do then?

Stop focusing on what others are doing. Everyone will have their own destiny and own set of things to do in life. Comparing will only lead to melancholy and anger. So, these are the major causes of living a sad, damaged or depressed life. If you want to be happy then focus on what to do and also what not to do.


Some simplified tips to be happy-

1. Smile often

2. Do what you love

3. Spend time with your loved ones

4. Pursue a hobby

5. Create your own happiness mantra, follow it and share it with others.

Mine is "Stay Positive, Stay Happy".

Take efforts to create your own happiness.

True fact: Above all, happiness or living a happy is not possible for 365 days and 24/7, but living as many moments as possible should be our goal.


#happyme #shareyourhappymoment #ritzyradhika #readsharedevelop

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